Author Archives: Jay

9 Best Marriage Counselors in St. George, Utah (2025 Guide)

When relationships face challenges, professional guidance can make all the difference. For couples in St. George, Utah, seeking to strengthen their bond, resolve conflicts, or navigate difficult transitions, marriage counseling provides a supportive environment for growth and healing.

This comprehensive guide highlights the top marriage counseling services in St. George, offering valuable insights into what makes effective therapy and how to find the right counselor for your specific needs. Whether you’re experiencing communication breakdowns, trust issues, or simply want to enhance your relationship, these licensed professionals can help you build a stronger foundation for your marriage.

What is Marriage Counseling?

Marriage counseling, also known as couples therapy, is a form of psychotherapy that helps couples recognize and resolve conflicts, improve communication, and strengthen their relationships. Unlike individual therapy, marriage counseling focuses on the relationship dynamic as a whole, treating the partnership itself as the patient.

During sessions, a trained therapist works with both partners to:

  • Identify problematic patterns in the relationship
  • Develop effective communication strategies
  • Process unresolved emotions
  • Establish healthy boundaries
  • Build conflict resolution skills
  • Deepen emotional intimacy
  • Create shared goals for the future

Most marriage counselors employ evidence-based approaches such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Gottman Method, or Integrative Behavioral Couples Therapy (IBCT). These therapeutic frameworks have been extensively researched and proven effective for helping couples create lasting positive change.

Best Marriage Counseling in St. George, Utah

1. Holobeing Health and Wellness

Address: 230 N 1680 E Suite I-1, St. George, UT 84790, United States
Phone: +1 435-215-2970
Website: holobeinghealthandwellness.com

Holobeing Health and Wellness stands out as St. George’s premier marriage counseling service, offering comprehensive therapy for couples seeking to enhance their relationship or navigate challenges. Led by Jay, MA, LMFT, the practice brings extensive experience in couples dynamics and specialized therapeutic approaches.

What distinguishes Holobeing is its integrative approach to relationship healing. They combine evidence-based techniques with personalized strategies tailored to each couple’s unique circumstances. Jay’s training in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) provides additional tools for addressing trauma that may affect relationship patterns, creating deeper healing opportunities for couples.

Areas of Expertise:

  • Communication enhancement strategies
  • Conflict resolution skills
  • Trust rebuilding after infidelity
  • Emotional intimacy development
  • Pre-marital counseling
  • Blended family navigation
  • Sexual intimacy issues
  • Trauma-informed couples therapy using EMDR
holobeing marriage counseler St.George Utah

2. Resilient Life Counseling

Address: 348 N Bluff St #104, St. George, UT 84770
Phone: (435) 767-1120
Website: https://www.resilientlifeutah.com/

Resilient Life Counseling provides compassionate, skill-based marriage therapy in a comfortable setting. Founded by Heather Thompson, LMFT, the practice emphasizes developing practical tools that couples can implement immediately while working toward deeper relationship transformation.

Their approach focuses on helping couples identify and break negative interaction cycles that create distance and conflict. With specialized training in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the counselors help partners reconnect with their attachment needs and develop more secure emotional bonds.

Areas of Expertise:

  • Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
  • Communication skills development
  • Managing differences in parenting styles
  • Navigating major life transitions
  • Affair recovery
  • Managing the impact of chronic illness on relationships
  • Premarital counseling
  • Religious faith integration in therapy, when desired
Resilient Life Counseling

3. Red Rock Counseling

Address: 1664 S Dixie Dr #D-103, St. George, UT 84770
Phone: (435) 767-1153
Website: redrockcounseling.com

Red Rock Counseling offers specialized couples therapy in a warm, supportive environment. Founded by Dr. Kendra Lester, PhD, LMFT, the practice brings a research-informed approach to helping couples build stronger connections and resolve persistent conflicts.

Their therapeutic model incorporates principles from the highly regarded Gottman Method, allowing couples to identify destructive patterns while building friendship, managing conflict constructively, and creating shared meaning. The practice is particularly skilled at helping couples recover from significant relationship injuries and rebuild trust.

Areas of Expertise:

  • Gottman Method couples therapy
  • Rebuilding trust after betrayal
  • Communication breakdown repair
  • Intimacy enhancement
  • Conflict management skills
  • Managing external stress impacts on the relationship
  • Military couples and deployment issues
  • Retirement and empty nest transitions
Red Rock Counseling

4. Desert Bloom Counseling Center

Address: 393 E Riverside Dr #3A, St. George, UT 84790
Phone: (435) 673-2219
Website: desertbloomcounseling.com

Desert Bloom Counseling Center provides couples with evidence-based therapeutic approaches designed to address both immediate concerns and long-term relationship patterns. Led by Michael Jensen, LCSW, their team specializes in helping couples navigate complex challenges including communication breakdowns, emotional disconnection, and intimacy issues.

The center integrates cognitive-behavioral techniques with attachment theory frameworks, helping couples understand how early life experiences influence their current relationship dynamics. This approach facilitates deeper understanding and compassion between partners.

Areas of Expertise:

  • Attachment-focused couples therapy
  • Cognitive-behavioral approaches for relationships
  • Strengthening emotional connection
  • Managing anger and high-conflict situations
  • Anxiety and depression impact on marriage
  • Recovering from emotional neglect
  • Effective co-parenting strategies
  • Cultural and religious considerations in relationships
Desert Bloom Counseling Center

5. Desert Bloom Healthcare

Address: 1664 S Dixie Dr #D101, St. George, UT 84770
Phone: (435) 627-1185
Website: https://desertbloomhealthcare.com/

Desert Bloom Healthcare offers specialized marriage counseling with particular expertise in relationships affected by addiction, mental health challenges, or trauma. Their integrated approach addresses both individual healing and relationship repair, recognizing that personal well-being and relationship health are interconnected.

The practice provides a unique blend of evidence-based therapeutic modalities tailored to each couple’s specific circumstances. Their holistic approach addresses emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual dimensions of relationship healing.

Areas of Expertise:

  • Addiction’s impact on relationships
  • Trauma-informed couples therapy
  • Mental health conditions and marriage
  • Codependency patterns
  • Recovery support for couples
  • Communication during a crisis
  • Rebuilding safety and trust
  • Self-care balance within relationships
Desert Bloom Healthcare

6. Southwest Behavioral Health Center

Address: 474 W 200 N, St. George, UT 84770
Phone: (435) 634-5600
Website: sbhc.us

Southwest Behavioral Health Center provides accessible marriage counseling services through their family therapy program. As a community-based mental health center, they offer sliding scale fees and accept most insurance plans, making quality couples therapy available to diverse socioeconomic backgrounds.

Their marriage counseling services focus on practical skill-building and problem-solving approaches. The center employs multiple licensed therapists with various specializations, allowing them to match couples with professionals whose expertise aligns with their specific needs.

Areas of Expertise:

  • Affordable therapy options
  • Crisis intervention for couples
  • Communication skills development
  • Mental health impacts on relationships
  • Conflict de-escalation techniques
  • Family systems approaches
  • Parenting challenges within marriage
  • Financial stress management

7. Flourish Therapy & Wellness

Address: 368 E Riverside Dr #10, St. George, UT 84790
Phone: (435) 922-4900
Website: https://www.flourishtherapy.org/ 

Flourish Therapy & Wellness specializes in helping couples revitalize their relationships through evidence-based therapeutic approaches. Founded by Rebecca Anderson, LMFT, the practice emphasizes creating emotional safety and rebuilding connection as foundations for relationship repair and growth.

Their therapeutic approach incorporates elements from multiple established couples therapy models, including Emotionally Focused Therapy and the Gottman Method. This integrated framework allows for tailored interventions that address each couple’s unique dynamics and concerns.

Areas of Expertise:

  • Emotional disconnection and repair
  • Blended family relationship challenges
  • Navigating life transitions
  • Sexual intimacy concerns
  • Communication pattern interruption
  • Affection and romance rebuilding
  • Empty nest adjustment
  • Cultural and religious dimensions of relationships

8. Sage Counseling Center

Address: 1760 N Main St #201, St. George, UT 84770
Phone: (435) 674-2690
Website: https://www.sagecirclecc.com/ 

Sage Counseling Center offers specialized marriage therapy with a focus on helping couples develop greater emotional intelligence within their relationships. Founded by Dr. James Wilson, PsyD, the practice brings a psychological depth to couples work while maintaining practical application.

Their approach emphasizes understanding attachment styles and how these influence relationship patterns. By helping couples identify their attachment needs and fears, the counselors facilitate more secure emotional bonds and healthier interaction patterns.

Areas of Expertise:

  • Attachment-based couples therapy
  • Emotional regulation in relationships
  • Breaking negative interaction cycles
  • Rebuilding after betrayal or affairs
  • Anxiety and depression impact on marriage
  • Managing extended family conflicts
  • Life stage transitions
  • Identity issues within relationships

9. New Horizons Counseling

Address: 1812 W Sunset Bld #21, St. George, UT 84770
Phone: (435) 215-5055
Website: https://www.nhcc.us/

New Horizons Counseling specializes in marriage therapy that addresses both immediate relationship concerns and deeper emotional patterns. Founded by Maria Rodriguez, LCSW, the practice helps couples move beyond symptom management to create lasting relational change.

Their therapeutic approach incorporates principles from Internal Family Systems therapy, helping partners understand how their individual parts (inner critic, protector, wounded child) influence their relationship dynamics. This framework promotes greater self-awareness and compassion for both self and partner.

Areas of Expertise:

  • Internal Family Systems approach to relationships
  • Cross-cultural relationship dynamics
  • Communication pattern transformation
  • Intimacy enhancement
  • Grief and loss within relationships
  • Managing differences in values or goals
  • Self-differentiation within marriage
  • Work-life balance for couples

What Makes a Great Marriage Counselor?

Finding the right marriage counselor can significantly impact your therapy experience and outcomes. Here are key qualities to look for when selecting a marriage counseling professional:

Proper Credentials and Specialized Training

Great marriage counselors have advanced degrees in counseling, psychology, or related fields, along with specific training in couples therapy. Look for credentials like Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), or Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC). Additionally, specialized training in established couples therapy methodologies distinguishes exceptional counselors from generalists.

Experience Working with Couples

Experience matters significantly in couples therapy. Seasoned counselors have encountered diverse relationship challenges and developed effective strategies for addressing them. They understand the nuances of relationship dynamics and recognize patterns that less experienced therapists might miss.

Objectivity and Neutrality

Effective marriage counselors maintain neutrality, avoiding taking sides or assigning blame. They create a balanced environment where both partners feel heard, validated, and supported. This neutrality fosters trust in the therapeutic process and allows couples to work through issues without feeling defensive.

Strong Communication Skills

Great counselors model the communication skills they teach. They listen actively, ask insightful questions, and provide clear, compassionate feedback. Their ability to facilitate productive conversations helps couples develop these same skills for use outside therapy.

Cultural Competence and Respect for Values

Marriage exists within cultural and religious contexts that significantly influence relationship expectations and dynamics. Excellent counselors respect these dimensions and adapt their approach accordingly, working within couples’ value systems rather than imposing their own perspectives.

Commitment to Continued Learning

The field of couples therapy continuously evolves with new research and methodologies. The best counselors stay updated on advances in the field through ongoing education, supervision, and professional development.

Benefits of Marriage Counseling

Marriage counseling offers numerous advantages for couples at any stage in their relationship. Research consistently demonstrates that professional therapy can help couples achieve significant improvements in relationship satisfaction and stability. Here are the key benefits:

Improved Communication

Perhaps the most common reason couples seek therapy is communication difficulties. Marriage counseling provides a structured environment where partners learn to express themselves clearly and listen effectively. Counselors teach specific techniques to prevent misunderstandings, reduce defensiveness, and facilitate productive discussions even during disagreements.

Conflict Resolution Skills

All relationships experience conflict, but how couples handle disagreements determines relationship health. Marriage counseling equips couples with effective strategies for resolving disputes constructively, including:

  • Identifying underlying issues beneath surface arguments
  • Managing emotional reactivity during discussions
  • Finding compromise and win-win solutions
  • Repairing after conflicts
  • Preventing the escalation of minor disagreements

Deepened Emotional Intimacy

Many couples experience emotional distance over time as daily responsibilities take precedence over connection. Marriage counseling helps partners reconnect emotionally by:

  • Creating safe spaces for vulnerability
  • Developing empathy for each other’s experiences
  • Understanding each other’s emotional needs
  • Building rituals of connection
  • Enhancing emotional support systems

Restored Trust and Healing

When relationships experience betrayal (whether through infidelity, financial dishonesty, or broken promises), rebuilding trust requires structured support. Marriage counselors provide guidance through the complex process of acknowledgment, accountability, forgiveness, and rebuilding, creating a path toward healing that might be difficult to navigate independently.

Strengthened Commitment

The process of working through challenges together in therapy often strengthens couples’ commitment to each other and their relationship. By investing in professional help, partners demonstrate their dedication to improvement and growth, which itself can increase relationship satisfaction.

Prevention of Future Problems

Couples who develop communication and conflict resolution skills through counseling are better equipped to handle future challenges. These preventative benefits extend beyond the immediate issues that brought them to therapy, creating relationship resilience for years to come.

Individual Growth Within the Relationship

Effective marriage counseling supports not only relationship health but also individual well-being. Partners often experience personal growth through the therapy process, including improved emotional regulation, greater self-awareness, and enhanced relationship skills that benefit all interpersonal connections.

Common Reasons to Seek Marriage Counseling

Couples seek professional counseling for various reasons, and early intervention often leads to better outcomes. Here are common situations where marriage counseling can be particularly beneficial:

Communication Breakdowns

When conversations consistently escalate into arguments or partners feel chronically misunderstood, a communication breakdown has likely occurred. Signs include:

  • Frequent miscommunications
  • Feeling unheard or invalidated
  • Conversations that quickly become heated
  • Avoidance of important discussions
  • Inability to resolve even minor issues

Infidelity or Trust Violations

Betrayals of trust, whether through physical affairs, emotional infidelity, or dishonesty in other areas, create significant relationship wounds. Professional guidance helps couples:

  • Process the initial crisis
  • Understand contributing factors
  • Rebuild transparency and honesty
  • Work through forgiveness
  • Establish new relationship boundaries

Major Life Transitions

Significant life changes can strain even strong relationships. Marriage counseling helps couples navigate transitions such as:

  • Becoming parents
  • Career changes or job loss
  • Relocation
  • Health diagnoses
  • Empty nest adjustments
  • Retirement
  • Caring for aging parents

Sexual Intimacy Issues

When physical intimacy becomes a source of conflict or disconnection, couples often benefit from professional support to address:

  • Mismatched desire levels
  • Sexual dysfunction
  • Intimacy after trauma
  • Reconnecting physically after periods of distance
  • Communication about physical needs and preferences

Financial Conflicts

Money disagreements rank among the most common sources of relationship stress. Counseling helps partners:

  • Understand different money values and histories
  • Develop fair financial decision-making processes
  • Address financial infidelity or dishonesty
  • Create sustainable financial plans that respect both partners’ needs
  • Navigate financial hardships together

Parenting Disagreements

Different parenting approaches can create significant relationship strain. Marriage counseling helps parents:

  • Understand the origins of their parenting styles
  • Develop consistent approaches
  • Support each other’s parenting efforts
  • Present a united front with children
  • Balance parenting responsibilities with couple connection

Emotional Disconnection

When partners feel like “roommates” rather than connected partners, emotional disconnection has likely occurred. Signs include:

  • Lack of meaningful conversation
  • Minimal physical affection
  • Parallel rather than shared lives
  • Feeling lonely despite being together
  • Seeking emotional connection elsewhere

Considering Separation

For couples contemplating separation, counseling provides clarity and support through:

  • Determining if the relationship can be salvaged
  • Understanding relationship patterns to avoid repeating them
  • Processing grief and loss if the separation proceeds
  • Creating amicable separation plans when necessary
  • Supporting healthy co-parenting arrangements

What to Expect: Timeframe for Marriage Counseling

The duration of marriage counseling varies significantly based on the couple’s specific challenges, goals, and commitment to the process. Understanding typical timeframes can help set realistic expectations:

Initial Assessment Phase (1-3 Sessions)

Most marriage counseling begins with an assessment period where the therapist:

  • Gathers relationship history
  • Identifies key concerns from both partners
  • Observes interaction patterns
  • Discusses goals for therapy
  • Develops a preliminary treatment plan

Some therapists conduct individual sessions with each partner during this phase in addition to conjoint sessions.

Active Treatment Phase (Variable)

The main therapeutic work occurs during this phase, which typically follows these general timelines:

Short-Term Therapy (8-12 Sessions)

  • Appropriate for: Specific issues, communication enhancement, and minor conflicts
  • Focus: Practical skill-building and immediate problem-solving
  • Timeline: Typically 2-3 months of weekly sessions

Moderate-Length Therapy (12-24 Sessions)

  • Appropriate for: Deeper relationship patterns, trust rebuilding, moderate disconnection
  • Focus: Addressing underlying dynamics while building practical skills
  • Timeline: Approximately 3-6 months of weekly or biweekly sessions

Longer-Term Therapy (24+ Sessions)

  • Appropriate for: Significant relationship trauma, chronic conflict patterns, severe disconnection
  • Focus: Transforming fundamental relationship dynamics and individual patterns
  • Timeline: 6+ months, often with gradually decreasing frequency

Maintenance Phase (As Needed)

After completing the primary therapeutic work, many couples transition to:

  • Monthly “tune-up” sessions
  • Quarterly check-ins
  • As-needed appointments during stressful periods or transitions

Intensive Options

Some couples opt for intensive therapy formats rather than weekly sessions:

  • Weekend intensives (10-15 hours over 2-3 days)
  • Week-long retreats
  • Multiple sessions per week for a condensed period

These approaches can accelerate progress for couples who prefer concentrated work or have scheduling constraints.

Factors Affecting Timeline

Several variables influence how long marriage counseling takes:

  • Severity and duration of problems
  • Presence of individual mental health issues
  • Willingness to complete homework between sessions
  • Consistency in attending appointments
  • Openness to change and feedback
  • External stressors affecting the relationship
  • Whether there has been a significant breach of trust

How to Choose the Right Marriage Counselor for Your Needs

Finding the right fit in a marriage counselor significantly impacts therapy success. Consider these important factors when selecting a professional in St. George:

Assess Specialized Training

Look beyond general licensure to specialized couples therapy training:

  • Gottman Method certification (Levels 1-3)
  • Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) certification
  • PREPARE/ENRICH facilitator certification
  • Discernment Counseling training
  • Specialized sexual therapy training if relevant

Consider Theoretical Approach

Different therapeutic approaches resonate with different couples:

  • Emotionally Focused Therapy: Focuses on attachment and emotional connection
  • Gottman Method: Emphasizes friendship, conflict management, and shared meaning
  • Imago Relationship Therapy: Explores childhood influences on relationship patterns
  • Solution-Focused Brief Therapy: Emphasizes practical solutions and future focus
  • Integrative approaches: Combine multiple methodologies

Evaluate Personal Compatibility

The relationship with your counselor matters greatly:

  • Schedule initial consultations with 2-3 potential therapists
  • Assess communication style and personality fit
  • Ensure both partners feel comfortable with the counselor
  • Consider whether you prefer a direct or more gentle approach
  • Discuss spiritual or cultural factors if important to you

Practical Considerations

Logistical factors influence consistency and sustainability:

  • Location convenience in St. George
  • Available appointment times
  • Telehealth options if needed
  • Fee structure and insurance acceptance
  • Session length options

Research Reputation

Gather information about potential counselors:

  • Online reviews (while recognizing their limitations)
  • Referrals from trusted sources
  • Professional credentials verification
  • Years of experience with couples specifically
  • Success with issues similar to yours

Conclusion

Investing in marriage counseling can transform your relationship, providing tools and insights for deeper connection and more effective conflict resolution. St. George offers numerous qualified professionals who can guide you through this process, with Holobeing Health and Wellness standing out for their comprehensive, personalized approach to couples therapy.

Whether you’re facing specific challenges or simply want to strengthen your relationship foundation, reaching out to a marriage counselor represents a proactive step toward a more fulfilling partnership. With the right professional guidance, couples can overcome obstacles, enhance communication, and build a stronger, more resilient relationship for years to come.

Marriage counseling isn’t just for relationships in crisis—it’s for any couple wanting to invest in their shared future. By understanding what to expect and choosing the right counselor for your specific needs, you can maximize the benefits of this valuable resource available in St. George.

Why Every CEO Needs a Coach

Article by Ray Williams, appearing in Psychology Today.

The job of a CEO has never been more challenging and rewarding. However, the job can be a lonely one despite the generous compensation, perks and attention. Boards, and CEOs are increasingly turning to engaging professional executive coaches to assist CEOs in their performance and growth and reduce attrition.

Why should CEOs have coaches now? Previous generations managed without them. Today’s president or CEO faces more pressures than ever. Business leaders are dealing with rapidly changing markets, technologies and workforces, increased financial and legal scrutiny . . . and more. Top executives who feel that they can handle it all by themselves are more likely to burn out, make poor decisions or make no decisions – potentially resulting in significant loss of opportunities, human resources and financial resources. The job of CEO is unique from several perspectives: No one else needs to hear the truth more, and gets it less from employees; no one else is the focus of criticism when things go wrong; no one else is the final decision maker on difficult and often lose-lose decisions; and finally, no one else enjoys the almost hero-celebrity status and rewards.

The success rate and longevity of top executives is vast different than a generation ago. In the past two decades, 30% of Fortune 500 CEOs have lasted less than 3 years. Top executive failure rates as high as 75% and rarely less than 30%. Chief executives now are lasting 7.6 years on a global average down from 9.5 years in 1995. According to the Harvard Business Review, 2 out of 5 new CEOs fail in their first 18 months on the job. It appears that the major reason for the failure has nothing to do with competence, or knowledge, or experience, but rather with hubris and ego and a leadership style out of touch with modern times. Research shows when someone assumes a new or different leadership role they have a 40% change of demonstrating disappointing performance. Furthermore, 82% of newly appointed leaders derail because they fail to build partnerships with subordinates and peers.

Sydney Finkelstein, author of Why Smart Executives Fail, researched several spectacular failures during a six-year period. He concluded that these CEOs had similar deadly habits of which most were related to unchecked egos. David Dotlich and Peter C. Cairo, in their book, Why CEOs Fail: The 11 Behaviors That Can Derail Your Climb To The Top And How To Manage Them, present 11 cogent reasons why CEOs fail, most of which have to do with hubris, ego and a lack of emotional intelligence. Call it overconfidence or ego, but powerful and successful leaders often distrust or feel they don’t need advice from anyone.

A study by Kelly See, Elizabeth Wolfe Morrison, and Naomi Rothman, published in Organizational Behavior and Human Decision, concluded one characteristic of powerful and successful leaders is high levels of self-confidence. Unfortunately, the researchers say, the higher the self-confidence, the less likely these leaders are open to advice and feedback. They also make the point that powerful leaders seldom get useful feedback in their organizations. Subordinates are loath to give bad news or critical feedback, and many boards are not diligent in seeing feedback for performance improvement, particularly relationships, as important as other things, such as financial results. See and her colleagues also contend that today’s leaders are under enormous stresses. These stresses often produce anxiety, fear and physical illness, which strong leaders are hesitant to divulge over concern about judgments that may be made about their capacities or longevity.

Why is this leadership crisis happening? One reason may be the gaps between how leaders see themselves and how others see them. Call it self-awareness. These blind spots can be career limiting. The wider the gap, the more resistance there is to change. It also makes it difficult to create a positive organizational culture where openness and honesty are not encouraged.

Good leaders make people around them successful. They are passionate and committed, authentic, courageous, honest and reliable. But in today’s high-pressure environment, leaders need a confidante, a mentor, or someone they can trust to tell the truth about their behavior. They rarely get that from employees and infrequently from board members.

Paul Michelman, writing in the Harvard Business Review Working Knowledge, cites the fact that most major companies now make coaching a core part of their executive development programs. The belief is that one-on-one personal interaction with an objective third party can provide a focus that other forms of organizational support cannot. A 2004 study by Right Management Consultants found 86% of companies used coaches in their leadership development program.

Marshall Goldsmith, a high profile coach of leaders in Fortune 500 companies and author of The Leader of the Future, argues leaders need coaches when “they feel that a change in behavior—either for themselves or their team members—can make a significant difference in the long-term success of the organization.”

Eric Schmidt, Chairman and CEO of Google, who said that his best advice to new CEOs was “have a coach.” Schmidt goes on to say “once I realized I could trust him [the coach] and that he could help me with perspective, I decided this was a great idea…” Mike Myatt says in his article, The Benefits of a Top CEO CoachExecutives who rise to the C-suite do so largely based upon their ability to consistently make sound decisions. However while it may take years of solid decision making to reach the boardroom it often times only takes one bad decision to fall from the ivory tower. The reality is that in today’s competitive business world an executive is only as good as his/her last decision, or their ability to stay ahead of contemporaries and competitors.”

Douglas McKenna, writing in Forbes magazine, argues that the top athletes in the world, and even Barack Obama, have coaches. In his study of executive coaching, McKenna, who is CEO and Executive Director for the Center for Organizational Leadership at The Oceanside Institute, argues that executive coaches should be reserved for everyone at C-level, heads of major business units or functions, technical or functional wizards and high-potential young leaders.

Despite its popularity, many CEOs and senior executives are reluctant to report that they have a coach, says Jonathan Schwartz, one-time President and CEO of Sun Microsystems, who had an executive coach himself. Steve Bennett, former CEO of Intuit says, “At the end of the day, people who are high achievers—who want to continue to learn and grow and be effective—need coaching.”

John Kador, writing in CEO Magazine, argues that while board members can be helpful, most CEOs shy away from talking to the board about their deepest uncertainties. Other CEOs can lend a helping ear, but there are barriers to complete honesty and trust. Kador writes, “No one in the organization needs an honest, close and long term relationship with a trusted advisor more than a CEO.” Kador reports conversations with several high profile CEOs: “Great CEOs, like great athletes, benefit from coaches that bring a perspective that comes from years of knowing [you], the company and what [you] need to do as a CEO to successfully drive the company forward,” argues William R. Johnson, CEO of the H.J. Heinz Co., “every CEO can benefit from strong, assertive and honest coaching.” The cost of executive coaches, particularly a good one, is not cheap, but “compared to the decisions CEOs make, money is not the issue,” says Schwartz, “if you have a new perspective, if you feel better with your team, the board and the marketplace, then you have received real value.”

The much asked question about coaching is its ROI. The majority of studies including a major one by Joy McGovern and her colleagues at the research firm, Manchester, indicated that the executives who received coaching valued the service between $100,000 to $1 million ROI. Joyce Russell, the Dean of the Robert H. Smith School of Business at the University of Maryland contends that once considered a concern of an employee or executive was assigned a coach, now it is viewed as a privilege and a sign that the organization values the executive’s contributions and is willing to invest money in their future growth and development.

Robert Lee former President and CEO of the Center for Creative Leadership provided a research study for the Society for Industrial and Organizational Psychology regarding the use of executive coaches in organizations. He identified the most common areas of focus which included: dealing with paradox and ambiguity; shared power; personal visibility vs. private persona; interpersonal distance vs. personal closeness; narcissism and pride vs. humility; approachability vs. tough mindedness; emotional openness vs. rationality and logic; empowering and enabling vs. directive and forcefulness; extroversion vs. introversion; leading from the heart vs. leading from the head; ethics and morality vs. pragmatism and the ends justifies the means.

 

Am I deficient in vitamin D?

For a number of reasons, many people aren’t getting enough vitamin D to stay healthy. This is called vitamin D deficiency. You may not get enough vitamin D if:

  • You don’t get enough sunlight. Your body is usually able to get all the vitamin D it needs if you regularly expose enough bare skin to the sun. However, many people don’t get enough sunlight because they spend a lot of time inside and because they use sunscreen. It’s also difficult for some people to get enough vitamin D from the sun during the winter.
  • You don’t take supplements. It’s very difficult to get enough vitamin D from the foods you eat alone.
  • Your body needs more vitamin D than usual, for example if you’re obese or pregnant.

Are certain people more likely to have vitamin D deficiency?

There are some groups of people that are more likely to have vitamin D deficiency. The following people are more likely to be lacking in vitamin D:

  • People with darker skin. The darker your skin the more sun you need to get the same amount of vitamin D as a fair-skinned person. For this reason, if you’re Black, you’re much more likely to have vitamin D deficiency that someone who is White.
  • People who spend a lot of time indoors during the day. For example, if you’re housebound, work nights or are in hospital for a long time.
  • People who cover their skin all of the time. For example, if you wear sunscreen or if your skin is covered with clothes.
  • People that live in the North of the United States or Canada. This is because there are fewer hours of overhead sunlight the further away you are from the equator.
  • Older people have thinner skin than younger people and this may mean that they can’t produce as much vitamin D.
  • Infants that are breastfed and aren’t given a vitamin D supplement. If you’re feeding your baby on breast milk alone, and you don’t give your baby a vitamin D supplement or take a supplement yourself, your baby is more likely to be deficient in vitamin D.
  • Pregnant women.
  • People who are very overweight (obese).

What are the symptoms of vitamin D deficiency?

Some people may not have any symptoms of vitamin D deficiency and still be deficient.

The symptoms of vitamin D deficiency are sometimes vague and can include tiredness and general aches and pains. Some people may not have any symptoms at all.

If you have a severe vitamin D deficiency you may have pain in your bones and weakness, which may mean you have difficulty getting around. You may also have frequent infections. However, not everyone gets these symptoms.

If you think you may have vitamin D deficiency, you should see your physician, or have a blood test to check your vitamin D levels.

How do I know if I’m deficient in vitamin D?

The way doctors measure if you’re deficient in vitamin D is by testing your 25(OH)D level, but most doctors just call this a vitamin D test. Getting this blood test is the only accurate way to know if you’re deficient or not. Please see our testing page for more information.

Already tested and want to know what your results mean? See our page on test results.

How can I get more vitamin D?

There are two ways to get more vitamin D: by exposing your bare skin to the sun or by taking vitamin D supplements. See How to get the vitamin D my body needs for more information.

References

  1. Holick MF. Vitamin D and Health: Evolution, Biologic Functions, and Recommended Dietary Intakes of Vitamin D. In Vitamin D: Physiology, Molecular Biology and Clinical Applications by Holick MF. Humana Press, 2010.
  2. Plum LA and Deluca HF. The Functional Metabolism and Molecular Biology of Vitamin D Action. In Vitamin D: Physiology, Molecular Biology and Clinical Applications by Holick MF. Humana Press, 2010.

10 Tips for Making Friends When You Are Depressed

 

Admittedly, It’s tough to make friends when you’re feeling depressed…even if you desperately want someone to talk to or confide in.

When people are depressed, they may not have sufficient energy or initiative to reach out to others. Or they may feel worthless and wonder why anyone else would want to befriend them. Also, depression can make people feel hesitant to make plans for next week or next month because they don’t know how depressed they’ll feel when the time of the actual event arrives.

Realistically, they may worry about whether they are capable of keeping up their side of the friendship, realizing they may not be good company right now. After all, it’s also hard to be with someone who is depressed.

For these reasons and others, depressed people often isolate themselves, perpetuating the feelings of sadness and loneliness. I recently received a one-sentence letter from a young woman:

Hi, i just want to ask how do i make friends when i struggle with depression?

While there are no simple answers, here are a few suggestions I would give to her and others:

  • Depression is a treatable illness. Check in with your therapist or physician to make sure that your condition is being treated as best as it can be. Your medication may need a minor adjustment or major overhaul. Your doctor may be able to offer other non-somatic recommendations.
  • Confide in your therapist explicitly about your problem in making friends. Like depression, friendship problems are real, too. Yours may be a byproduct of your depression and/or may stem from something else.
  • Join a support group of people with mood disorders to learn some practical tips to minimize the effect of depression on your social relationships.
  • It’s easier to make friends in natural settings where there is less pressure to socialize. Survey your workplace, school and/or neighborhood to see what types of groups or activities interest you. Take an adult education class, participate in an exercise class at a gym, or volunteer to help others.
  • Get moving. Get dressed and make an effort to get out of the house regularly, even if it’s to take a short walk or bicycle ride. A number of studies have shown that exercise helps improve mood.
  • Sometimes friends don’t know how to react to someone who is depressed. If they’ve been turned down or shut out repeatedly, they may stop initiating contact. Take the risk of contacting an old friend with whom you have some history. Let that person know you are interested in getting together.
  • Figure out what positive things you can bring to a new friendship. Be cautious about demanding too much too soon: Don’t treat new friends as therapists. Don’t be lazy either. Instead, make sure there is give and take in your relationships.
  • Take one day at a time. Recognize your illness is likely to have ups and downs. Don’t beat yourself up when you feel so depressed that you can’t handle being with other people.

Should I Go To A Counselor?

Counselors provide a comfortable, nonjudgmental and safe environment for individuals to share personal struggles and receive feedback and tools for how to help overcome challenges.   Below is valuable information regarding counseling.

Common misconceptions of counseling:

  • Counseling is only for people that are “crazy” or that need to be institutionalized
  • That a counselor will tell you what you should or should not do
  • A counselor can share what is said
  • That seeking counseling is a sign of weakness
  • Counseling requires a long-term commitment

Facts about counseling:

  • Counseling benefits many types of people; those with chronic problems and those dealing with situational concerns
  • Counseling may benifit professionals that have high stress jobs
  • Counselors will respect your autonomy and help you make your own decisions
  • For the most part, counseling is confidential and information will not be shared unless you give your written consent. Your counselor will go over the limits to confidentially at the onset of counseling, typically during the first session
  • It can take a lot of strength and courage to tell someone about personal struggles
  • Counseling can help with both short-term and long-term problems, and length of time can be decided on between you and your counselor

Counseling can help with the following:

  • Using personal strengths and attributes in a variety of situations
  • Identifying problem areas and factors that attribute to difficulties and dissatisfaction
  • Learning what thoughts and behaviors attribute to and maintain problems and how to change them
  • Improving stress-management skills
  • Building self-confidence and self-esteem
  • Enhancing the quality of relationships
  • Making better decisions
  • Leading a more satisfying and fulfilling life

Common concerns individuals seek counseling for help with:

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Break-up of a romantic relationship
  • Family problems
  • Relational problems with a partner, roommates, friends or professors
  • Problems with drugs and/or alcohol
  • Eating disorders
  • Stress-management
  • Suicidal thinking
  • Grief and loss
  • Lack of motivation

If you are struggling with the challenges of college life or would like to learn more about yourself, try working with a counselor.